Foundation For A Better Life. Available Therapies, Part 3
In order to bring more good into our lives it is vital for us to create a foundation for a better life. Below are just a few examples of the work I do.
Available therapies, Part 3.
Families can be a source of support, encouragement and love but sometimes relationships within families are put under strain and family members feel isolated or overlooked.
With family counselling, I can help when siblings aren’t getting along together, or when parents and children are going through a divorce or separation. Forming a new family is a challenge and it is at this point that many parents contact me for some support to help everyone involved settle into their new roles.
Whatever difficulties you’re having as a family, I can help.
How It Works: You will meet with me where I will provide confidential and non-judgemental support, and will encourage everyone who comes to have their say and to share their feelings, if they wish to do so. Counselling is a different experience for everyone, and what happens in your sessions will depend very much on what you hope to get out of it, and on the unique needs of your family.
My aim as your family counsellor is to help you to build stronger relationships between every member of the family and help you all to work together as a team. If you’re having problems as a family, whatever’s causing them, I can help the whole family to communicate better, and to understand and resolve differences.
When families go through change, it can be difficult to learn to adapt. Counselling can help family members to support one another through these difficult times, to reduce conflict and arguments and grow stronger as a result.
You can also get dedicated support if you’re parenting troubled teenagers, which can help you and your family through some of the challenges of this difficult period.
As a certified family therapist, I have helped many families find a balance in their life again.
Love can be exhilarating, especially at the very beginning of a relationship. Everything you experience with your partner feels so new and overall amazing, and you think how nothing can go wrong. Well some things can go wrong, including complete emotional dependency on your partner.
Emotional dependency is when a person allows others (like a significant other) to affect their feelings and emotions, and depends on them for happiness, etc. This is giving complete control of our emotions to the other person; it is unhealthy and can negatively impact our self-esteem, since our self-esteem is dependent on others.
This is different from having a balanced relationship, where we have interdependence and allow other to affect us only slightly emotionally. According to one relationship site, it is impossible to love another and not give them some control, but we must find a healthy balance.
Complete independence does not allow us to form connections with others.
Emotional Dependency can act as “an emotional and behavioural condition that affects our ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship.”
Dependency, as a broad definition is, “dependence on the needs of or control by another,”. However, in the psychological sense, it is “a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition.”
Some signs of Emotional Dependency in a relationship are:
- Becoming very close, very quick.
- Lack of peace, a sense that something is really wrong, a sense of impending doom, knowledge in your heart that this isn’t healthy
- Mood extremes, euphoria to depression
- Tormented by the other person’s troubles, not able to be in a good mood when the other person is in a bad mood, equating grief for the other person with love for the other person
- Obsessing; thinking about the other person takes up too much time every day, worrying about the other person
- The intense nature of the relationship makes the other person feel uncomfortable, or makes those around us feel uncomfortable
- Defining the relationship repeatedly. Most people just let the relationship be what it is, unfolding naturally
- Distressed every time the other person draws away a little, insecurity, manipulation, drama, not allowing for the natural ebb and flow of normal relationship
- Sexual tension, excessive physical contact, sexual activity
- Overemphasis on intense conversation, and an absence of small talk
- Trying to save the other person becomes the major project in life, a desire to be needed by the other person in order to keep them close*
- Dramatic expressions of affection… gifts, cards, flattering words
- Financial over-involvement
- Taking on the interests and the characteristics of the other person as my own interests or characteristics
- Feeling trapped by an obligation to the other person because of their problems
- Making them the centre of happiness, unable to imagine life without them.
Substance addiction research has clearly demonstrated that the addicted brain is chemically and physiologically different from a normal brain. The idea of addiction being a neurological disorder is critical to understanding its development and the recovery process.
A person suffering from substance addiction may understand the cycle of addiction, but will remain unable to break the repetition of the cycle until they develop the insight to seek help from a professional therapist.
Addiction is defined as obsessive thinking and a compulsive need for drugs, alcohol, food, sex, gaming, pornography, shopping or anything despite the resulting negative consequences. Addiction includes the development of tolerance combined with withdrawal symptoms.
In addition to an increased tolerance, a person suffering from addiction will experience intense physical cravings for a substance or an emotional obsession with a process regardless of the consequences. Addiction develops over time and usually begins with misuse, moving toward abuse and resulting in addiction.
Addiction Effects on the Brain
Addiction alters the way the brain and certain neurotransmitters function. These changes in brain chemistry create addiction, tolerance and withdrawal symptoms, which all lead to cravings.
The neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine send messages to the brain and the rest of the body. The altered brain chemistry essentially requires constant, repetitive exposure to the substance or action to function psychologically and physiologically.
This chemical dependence leads to tolerance and withdrawal symptoms, two of the hallmarks of substance abuse addiction that usually require a professionally monitored alcohol and drug detox.
Addiction alters the brain chemistry affecting the process of thought and decision-making. The definition of addiction also includes strong references to denial, minimization and justification, all of which are primitive internal defense mechanisms. After the addiction is acknowledged, the addict may ultimately be forced to decide to stop using chemicals, thus breaking the cycle of addiction.
The abnormal, addicted brain cannot tolerate that decision. The cycle of addiction is powerful, usually requiring outside interventions that include detox and / or substance abuse treatment.
I have a specialised degree specifically in addiction treatment for individuals and families suffering from addiction. Please call me if you are suffering under addiction and we can schedule an assessment.
Dealing With Addiction. Tips
If you have recently broken an addiction you need to make sure that you can keep ahead of your cravings and not give into them. Here are some tips to help you fight off the cravings.
- Have a support network of family and friends who support your decision to stop.
- Break the cycle. For example, if your addicted to alcohol, don’t go to a pub.
- Always have a fizzy drink or chocolate on hand to alleviate cravings.
- Exercising regularly will help your body generate Dopamine which is a natural feel good hormone.
- Fill your free time with healthy hobbies.
Be proud of yourself and what you have achieved. Take each day at a time and keep looking forward.
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Remember – “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” – Tony Robbins.