Foundation For A Better Life. Available Therapies, (part 1)
In order to bring more good into our lives it is vital for us to create a foundation for a better life. Below are just a few examples of the work I do.
Available therapies, Part 1
Does it feel like you and your partner are constantly bickering or arguing without resolution? Has your communication completely broken down? Perhaps you don’t trust each other or are struggling with intimacy issues after an affair has been exposed? Or has one of you been concealing debts or an addiction from the other?
While all relationships can sometimes suffer under the increasing pressures of everyday life, ongoing and ignored stresses can leave you feeling exhausted, depressed, desperate and with low self-esteem.
When a relationship is at breaking point it can seem as if separation or divorce is your only option, but talking through your problems together with a trained relationship counsellor can help you get to the heart of your conflicts and come to value each other’s beliefs and feelings.
Our closest relationships can provide us with some of life’s greatest happiness and satisfaction… until they start to break down.
As a certified couples’ therapist, I have seen many couples’ who have turned to couples’ counselling and therapy as a means of improving or rescuing their relationships. I can work with you together to help rebuild your relationship and try to find a common ground.
My aim is not to resolve the issues for you, but to develop your skills so you can resolve the issues yourselves. This will encourage you to talk openly about difficult topics and explore your childhood and family history. By analyzing your behavioral patterns and the ways in which you communicate with each other, I can help you see discrepancies in you and your partner’s behavior, and teach you techniques to improve your communication.
Ultimately, I work to support you as a couple to identify patterns and modes of communication and behaviors so you can both take responsibility for your own choices and actions and work out the best way for you to resolve your complications.
During the assessment I will take a brief history from you which covers the issues that you are bringing to counselling, as well as a general history of your relationship. Some questions I might ask are:
- What issues have you been experiencing in your relationship?
- How long have these issues been a problem in your relationship?
- Have you ever been in relationship counseling before?
- What have you and your partner done to try to resolve these issues?
- What are your expectations of couples’ counseling?.
Above all, my aim is to give you a safe environment in which you can talk about your relationship issues so you can improve your communication and gain confidence in self-expression as a couple. I can help you discover how to negotiate and compromise with one another so you can discover ways of moving forward – either together or apart.
Assertiveness – Self-Esteem
A healthy level of assertiveness and self-esteem is important in life – especially at work and in our relationships – but traumatic events can have a substantial impact on our sense of self-worth. Then there are issues from our childhood and our family environment which can also take their toll upon our ability to think positively about ourselves. Having low self-esteem can lead to lack of assertiveness. Where you feel your opinion does not matter and fear going after what is best for yourself.
Persistent negative thinking can create a vicious cycle and can lead you to avoid taking on all kinds of activities and tasks because you fear failure. This can sometimes lead to catch 22 situations as, cutting yourself off from life’s challenges can leave you feeling even more hopeless and unhappy.
If you are feeling exhausted, lack of motivation, suffer a fear of failure, or always thinking negatively about your abilities and opportunities, and you wish life was better, then you are probably suffering from low self-esteem and a lack of confidence, and you may benefit from low self-esteem therapy which can help you to help get you back on track.
Counselling for low self-esteem
Counselling can help you explore how your low self-confidence may have evolved from your earlier childhood experiences or more recent events, as well as reviewing how your day-to-day life is being affected and how you would like things to change.
By changing our negative interpretations of ourselves, we can change how we feel and improve our self-esteem at the same time.
At my practice, I work with you to boost your self-esteem and increase your confidence.
It will help you to:
- Understand the underlying causes of your anger/irritability
- Examine the thoughts, feelings and behaviors that contribute to low confidence
- Gain self-understanding and insight
- Improve your self-image
- Help you to become more assertive and positive
Together we will redefine your hopes and expectations, explore background factors and begin your journey to developing inner strength and a strong core of self-belief.
Learning To Assert Yourself – Tips
Here are some tips on keeping up your self esteem and making sure that you assert your true self.
- Start learning to say no by answering every question with a no first. You can always change it to a yes afterwards.
- Open your arms out wide and tell yourself that you are a winner.
- Remember assertion is not aggression. Its simply stating your views and/or feelings.
- Stand up straight and always hold your head up high.
- Always look someone in the eyes directly and speak clearly
Everyone has their own personality. Everyone should feel comfortable to express that personality and their views. It is part of our own unique identity.
Sometimes it can be difficult to form relationships with people. In particular if you are not sure about your sexuality. Sexuality can mean so many things. For example: being gay, straight, Bi or transsexual. It can be what your comfort zone is in your sexual relationships – such as how much sex you enjoy and what type of sex you enjoy.
We are diverse as humans, and quite often things like our sexual preferences and sex drives don’t match with others. Sexuality covers our deepest desires as humans and therapy can help you find your true self with confidence and well-being.
If you think you are gay, you’ve probably known for a long time! Generally speaking stigma can be off-putting, you might feel scared about what your family and friends will think of you or if they will treat you different.
From my experience of working with sexuality I can say in the end it never really matters what others think or say once you have experienced the freedom of realizing your sexuality. This ‘new freedom’ fills your consciousness and you can finally be who you want to be in every aspect of your life – not hiding your true self.
Given the time we are in, our TV’s, radios and video games are over sexualized which in turn puts unnecessary pressure on men and women to perform. As young impressionable teens watch shows and music video’s, they pick up messages about sex that are unrealistic.
Under the pressure of ‘expectations’ the pressure on young men and women to look a certain way and act a certain way has an undeniable effect on sexual performance. If you are carrying the burden of low sexual self-esteem and would like to change, amazingly some simple CBT techniques can change this for you. There is also the chance you may just be A-Sexual – meaning you feel no attraction to anyone.
It is imperative for anyone who reads this page not to take any of the terms used as a given in your situation. A full assessment must be conducted to ascertain the issues specific to your needs. I have had experience with many people facing these issues and have helped them to find freedom in their sexual identity.
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Remember – “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” – Tony Robbins.