Focus On Your Family
It’s All About Family
Today I want to pay tribute to all the Moms and Dads at home with their Children since the outbreak of Covid-19. A time where you have the opportunity to focus on your family.
Speaking from personal experience, being at home with the children certainly isn’t easy! You work harder and longer hours than most people in the workforce. There are no sick days, holidays, sleeping in, or proper breaks. You are ‘on duty’ all the time and no one can take your place. At the moment no-one is even supposed to. We find ourselves house-bound, more or less.
Parents Job Title
The stay at home parent has many executive job titles. These consist of, and are not limited to, being a: chef, nurse, teacher, therapist, referee, law enforcement, taxi, life coach and sometimes fire-fighter. Parenting is much more than a full time job. Working and parenting is hectic, leaving little time to connect and do the things we love to do. There’s always so much to be done and it is completely normal for us to become overwhelmed.
During this International crisis, parents all over the world are now forced to stay at home with their children and attempt to carry out the incredible jobs of the teachers and special needs assistants provided by our education system. Perhaps this is a time when we will learn to really appreciate the significant difference Schooling and Teachers make to our lives and the lives of our children. Many of us are not cut out for the extra pressures brought on by the current circumstances we find ourselves in. If your child/children have special needs the extra support will be greatly missed during this time.
Now, we are confined with no place to go and nothing to do. We can’t utilize this time to visit family or friends, we can’t let the children have play dates or do any type of activity that involves crowds or gatherings. We are in a time when the entire World – regardless of state or stature – recognizes the fact that we are all just human. This virus affects us all on varying levels, yet ultimately brings us together in the spirit of human regard for the health and well-being of each other. How incredibly important is this lesson to our children?
If you are a social person who loves getting out and about being house-bound is likely your worst nightmare. If your relationship isn’t going so well with those you share your home with, isolation may not exactly be a dream come true. There’s going to be guilt, remorse, tension, and at best essential discussion. Particularly, when we have children we tend to think ‘if we don’t talk, then at least we can’t argue in front of the children’ and this will be less harmful. Of course, the tension is probably more damaging than the argument given children have super sensitive antennas for picking up negative vibes. They’ll ‘act up’ giving us a ‘hard time’ break all the rules and have regular meltdowns. This is their way of signaling to us that they feel the tension and need attention to dissolve it, because they can’t cope with it.
If you’re relationship has been struggling and you’re needing a little me time, then this is the perfect time to just be with each other. A friend of ours – Steve Costello – recently made reference to us as “human doings.” It’s not a new concept, however, it may help us understand how much we are ‘doing’ on a daily basis and open us up to new ways of ‘being.’ Isn’t this the perfect time for us to teach our children about mindfulness, discussions about anything they can think of, laugh, play, argue, and resolve it all by the end of the day? If this is you, take a break and go easy on yourself. You didn’t start out on this journey dreaming of disappointment so look inside yourself for the love, comfort and compassion you need and you will find it.
A New Way
You are NOT a ‘bad parent’! You have NOT ‘let your children down’! You have NOT ‘failed’ as a partner. It just means you need to find a new way of being, a new way to cope. Sometimes we become lost in the doing and consequently we just forget how to be. So today, I want you to be the very person you want to be – no excuses. Keep smiling, be organized, set a light routine and be led by the more playful things in life. Broken dreams can’t be fixed to perfection but we grow so much from the mending process and we can always make new dreams.
Finding a new way can be difficult for parents unless we make the time in our day to reflect. Some, seem to breeze through life with ease, while others become overwhelmed. When this happens, a shift in focus is required. We need to stop focusing on the negative in our lives and turn our attention to solutions. Giving yourself time to gather your thoughts is essential, it’s your ‘sanity lifeline’.
Take action now and write down exactly what you want and start providing it for yourself first. If you want a happy family, do something that causes happiness within it. Start a water fight, bake buns, blow bubbles, play a game of snap, start kicking a ball around and watch what happens. For many of us Covid-19 will not affect us physically however, it has the ability to affect us emotionally and psychologically. It is our choice whether the impact is negative or positive. Make sure you come out of this fighting fit so your children learn how to be resilient, and in doing so you learn how amazing you really are.
How has the current Pandemic effected you? Has it strengthened your bond with family, or, is it driving a wedge between you?
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